


Nott the Best Detective Agency: The Murder Mystery(ies)

by What607



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Campaign 2 (Critical Role), F/F, M/M, Modern AU, More tags added as I go, Murder Mystery, Mystery, Nott the Best Detective Agency, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), lots more characters introduced later as well, so expect more than one, this is gonna be a series of murder mysteries yall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:27:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22562476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/What607/pseuds/What607
Summary: ~ On hiatus, sorry :( ~Nott the Best Detective Agency was, despite its name, the best detective agency in all of Wildemount. And probably Tal’dorei too if they ever chose to go there. Jester insists they have to so they can say they are the best in all of Exandria.From the high-end skyscrapers of Rexxentrum and Rosohna to the suburb towns like Felderwin, the names Nott and Jester were renowned for their intellectual prowess and incredible ability to solve the seemingly unsolvable.Of course, if you had ever met the two personally, you would have known this was slightly exaggerated. Maybe a bit more than slightly.But regardless, the two received countless requests to investigate strange and unexplainable mysteries from across the world. Most were left unanswered, some never even reaching the two in their office in Rosohna.Until a new case came in, a case closer to home than they ever thought they would encounter: and this is where our story begins.*AKA: A murder mystery with Nott and Jester as the detectives - along with help from the rest of the nein - set in modern Exandria.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast, Jester Lavorre & Nott, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 22





	1. The Beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this :D. It's set in modern Exandria with magic and races maintained. I don't have a particular end in mind but I'm gonna make it a series of murder mysteries. Oh and also, Speak with Dead or any other spell to communicate with the dead doesn't work in this world because plot convenience. Leave a kudos or a comment if you want <3

Nott the Best Detective Agency

Nott the Best Detective Agency was, despite its name, the best detective agency in all of Wildemount. And probably Tal’dorei too if they ever chose to go there. Which they would, obviously. Jester insists they must be able to one day say they are the best in all of Exandria. 

From the high-end skyscrapers of Rexxentrum and Rosohna to the suburb towns like Felderwin, the names Nott and Jester were renowned for their intellectual prowess and incredible ability to solve the seemingly unsolvable.

Of course, if you had ever met the two personally, you would have known this was slightly exaggerated. Maybe a bit more than slightly. The Mighty Nein certainly knew this.

But regardless, the two received countless requests to investigate strange and unexplainable mysteries from across the world. Most were left unanswered, some never even reaching the two in their office in Rosohna.

The pair spent most of their time on the top floor of the Xhorspike, though the two had a variety of crude names for it, doing “Very Important Business Work” which included vandalising every surface with tiny dick drawings. 

Until a new case came in, a case closer to home than they ever thought they would encounter: and this is where our story begins.

* * *

“Done!” Jester cried with a triumphant smile on her face along with a splat of aqua paint.

Behind the door to her left came a crash and rustle, before it flung open revealing Nott the Brave: her hair was tied into two messy plaits braided with little yellow flowers that matched the bright yellow of her dress. The dress was held at the waist with a loose leather belt with a magnifying glass. She slammed the door shut behind her and looked frantically towards the wall Jester was facing. Her amber eyes widened even more and she gasped.

“Jester, this looks amazing!” she yelled.

“Thank you,” Jester giggled. Her hair was a vibrant blue falling around her horns decorated with a variety of silver jewellery and chains. Around her neck, hung another silver chain holding a trinket resembling a door filled with clear glass: the traveller’s symbol with a magnifying glass in the arch. Her denim dungarees were covered in a mess of coloured paints and underneath she wore a white shirt with multi-coloured vivid stripes. 

Leaning down, she placed a heavily-used wooden paintbrush back in a pot. The two stepped back to admire her work. The wall was painted in shades of shimmering blue showing the sea stretching out to the horizon. The coast of Nicodranis was lit brightly by the shining sun dipping in the sky showering it in shades of red and gold.

“It’s beautiful Jester,” Nott said taking Jester’s hand in her claws and smiling at her.

“Thank you,” she exclaimed again, “I’ll do Felderwin next so you won’t miss Yeza and Luc so much.”

Nott smiled, face brightening at the mention of her husband and son before her brow furrowed in thought. “But where the fuck would we put it?” she said turning and gesturing to the clutter on the other side of the room. The room was lined with multiple large desks, all generally pointed towards a large pin board hung up on the other wall. To the left of Nott was a heavy wooden door and a set of frosted windows into a long corridor; to the right was another door and clear glass out into the cities of Rosohna far below. 

The rush of innumerable cars passing by could be heard from the top floor of the Xhorspike. Almost the entire city was visible from so high up: a collection of towering buildings lined the horizon.

“We’ll figure something out,” Jester said, optimistic, “we always do!”

“That’s righ-”

A heavy set of footsteps ran past the frosted glass along with a blur of green. The door crashed open and Fjord stood in its place, breathless.

“Fjord! Careful, that’s still drying!” Jester called out, rushing forward to check the painting.

Still trying to catch his breath, Fjord panted, “Huh? Oh sorry, Jester.” He stepped forward slightly, shutting the door carefully behind him. “I have important news though and it’s not good.”

“Oh shit, did Frumpkin try to attack Sprinkle again?” Nott asked.

“ _ WHAT _ ?” Jester shouted, springing back to her feet.

“Nothing,” Nott said holding her claws up in defence.

“What do you mean  _ again? Nott!” _

“It’s not my fault - ask Caleb.”   
“Guys!” Fjord called, trying to catch their attention again, “This is important. There’s a new case and I think you need to hear this.”   
“If it’s not as good as the mystery of the missing cupcake then I don’t care,” Jester said crossing her arms.

“Didn’t you eat it?” Nott asked squinting at her.

“ _ May _ be…” Jester said casting her eyes down.

Fjord sighed and stepped closer to the pair. “Seriously, I need you to listen closely. Please.”

“Alright, but be quick though, I have to fix the section of the wall you ruined,” Nott said with a humph. 

Fjord gulped and said, “Your mother, Jester. She’s been receiving… letters. Emails. Threats: Death threats.”

“Pfffft,” Jester said, almost laughing, “That’s just another Tuesday for her; I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“No, Jester. This is serious,” Fjord said taking her hand, “She submitted the report. The threats have been becoming way more intense than usual. Once a letter was planted in her bag while she was out on the beach without her seeing. Someone’s stalking her. She’s scared, Jester. We think she’s in danger.”

***

Rain. Wind. Darkness. Her vision wouldn’t stop spinning and she could feel her flaming red hair lashing across her skin. Waves were crashing against the rocks; the sky was burning red in the sunset; her legs were weak; her hands were shaking; her head was spinning - and then she saw it. Breathing heavily, she stumbled forward, eyes trained on the tower in front of her - a silhouette against the sun. Her feet were numb, covered in stone-cold water. Mindless, she kept going, faster and faster. 

And then she dropped. 

Like a stone in water.

  
  
Her ears were filled with the rush of the sea, the salt coated her tongue, her eyes stung in the darkness, and she kicked madly - blindly. 

She was thrown backwards and forwards, tumbling over and over, reaching for the light of the sky. Her chest was tightening, her throat was closing, and she was freezing, and now  _ everything  _ was spinning, and she had no air, and she needed to  _ breathe  _ but she couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t breathe:  _ I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe, Ican’tbreathe, Ican’tbreathe Ican’tbreathe ican’tbreathe icantbreathe icantbreatheicantbreatheicantbreatheicant- _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there, sorry this took a while to update but I hope you enjoy it! :D

“Oh…” Jester said, face falling. “Oh.”

Fjord pressed squeezed her hand and let go. “Here’s the report,” he said pushing a thin folder into her hands. She chewed on her bottom lip and apprehensively opened it.

In neat print were a series of transcribed emails and accounts from Marion describing multiple instances of these threats appearing in public. As well as this, a cluster of letters fell to the floor and Nott swept in to pick them up.

“Wait!” Fjord said, “Don’t touch those, you might want to check for fingerprints or something.”

Nott looked up at him and squinted, “What? It’s way too late for that - everyone’s touched these by now, they’re not even in a fucking protective case or something! What do we pay you for?” 

“You don’t,” Fjord said.

“And this is why,” Nott replied.

Jester sniffed and looked towards them, “You guys, these are  _ really  _ fucking creepy!” Her voice had raised to almost a squeak near the end. She shoved one of the crisp white pages under the light and read it out loud in a deep, robotic voice, “You are going to die. You are mine. I’m going to kill you.”

“Wow,” Nott said, “That sounds really tame for a death threat if I’m honest with you.”

“ _ Nott!  _ These are for my mama, and there’s so  _ many  _ of them: they’re all like this!”

“I’m sorry, Jester,” Fjord said, leaning forward to read it over her shoulder, “but I’d have to agree with Nott here.”

“It’s like… they don’t seem  _ angry  _ Jester. It’s like… very matter-of-fact y’know?” Nott joined them and took the paper from Jester’s hand. “These are the emails, right?”

“Yeah,” Jester confirmed. She looked concerned: her lips pouted and nose crinkled.

“Ew, this one is way creepier. It’s not a letter though - it’s a report from Marion,” Nott said, turning the page over, “It says, “On the 15th January, I was headed towards the beach at around 5 in the evening. It was a pleasant afternoon and I stayed there for the day with Bluud. When I returned to the Chateau, I found a note in a bag which I had left next to me. It said that someone wanted to kill me and they were watching me.” Nott paused for a moment and her eyes scanned the passage. “She says no one on the beach seemed suspicious and she didn’t see anyone near her bag. The only people she could remember on the beach were a large family with two children, a red-skinned woman in the water, and a half-orc sitting on the sand.”

Jester sighed. “Nott, I think we need to go to Nicodranis.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Nott said before turning towards her, “I’m sure she’ll be safe, Jester. We’re on the case now.” She spun on her heels and gave Jester finger guns with a wink. Jester gave her a half-smile and some slightly less enthusiastic jazz hands in return.

Fjord looked between the two, “So… are you two going now? ‘Cause it’s like 6 in the morning right now.”

“Oh shit, really? I thought it was like 10 by now,” Jester said whipping out her phone to check the time.

“Wha- No,” Fjord said shaking his head, “What I meant is, are you two gonna like, drive there?”

“Fuck no,” Nott said. She looked mildly affronted and pulled out her phone as well. Her fingers slid across the screen slowly.

“ _ Traveler _ Nott, you type so slowly, hurry up!” Jester said bouncing on her heels.

“It’s not my fault - the fucking claws get in the way,” Nott snapped before pausing and looking up at Fjord. “Wait shit, Caleb doesn’t check his phone in the morning - could you like go see if he’s in the Xhorhouse?”

Fjord scowled. “Nott, I’m not your fucking assistant-”

“Yes, you are.”

“You guys, I could just send him a message,” Jester interrupted. 

“Would he even be awake yet? He’s not exactly a morning person.” Fjord said, crossing his arms. 

“Well you aren’t either and you’re still here,” Nott pointed out and turned back to her phone.

“Not by choice,” he mumbled.

“His first lecture doesn’t start for another 2 hours but he might get there early.”   
“You guys, this is taking ages - I’m just going to message him,” Jester said defiantly. She pulled out a short piece of bent copper wire and twirled it in her fingers. 

“ _ Jester! _ He might still be asleep,” Nott cried.

“Helloooo  _ Cay _ leb, good morning! Could you like maybe teleport us to Nicodranis this morning? We’re at the office and it’s like super duper important and it’s for a new case and we really need to get there like super quickly. Thank you!” 

Nott put her head in her hands and said, “I don’t think half of that even reached him.”

Not long after Jester heard a quiet voice enter her head with a sigh. “ _ Guten morgen. _ I may be able to teleport you soon. I am with Essek at the moment so I will be over in thirty minutes.”

“ _ See,  _ I was right you guys. He’ll be on his way in half an hour and he’ll take us to Nicodranis,” Jester said happily. “And,  _ oh my traveller,  _ Nott! He was talking to  _ Essek”  _ She wiggled her eyebrows towards Nott with a smirk on her face.

“Well what do we do for half an hour?” Nott said, ignoring Jester’s other comment. She flicked through the letters from the file. “These are all along the same lines as the emails.”

Jester hummed and then gasped. “We should pack! It will be like a road trip Nott!”

“You’re going to pack to go to Nicodranis… for a day?” Fjord said, hesitant.

“Well it might be longer than a day,” Jester said, rubbing her right arm.

Fjord sighed and turned towards the door, “Ok, fine. Do what you want but I’m leaving. I’ll let you know if Caleb arrives downstairs.”

***

Half an hour later, Jester stood in front of the Nicodranis painting with a pink haversack slung over her shoulder. Sunlight was streaming through the windows, lighting the painting in front of her and the single tear on her cheek. The door clicked open. Jester quickly sniffed and rubbed her arm across her face.

“Oh, hey Nott,” she said. Nott walked into the room with a brown leather jacket over her dress smiling brightly. Her face fell.

“Jester…” she said as she took in her puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks, “Are you alright?”

“Whaaat? Yeah, I’m  _ fine! _ ” Jester shouted, looking very much not fine. Nott simply raised an eyebrow and stepped closer. She turned to look at the ocean with Jester.

“I’m sure she’s fine, Jester.”

Jester hummed looking at the glowing sun on the horizon. “Y’know, Nicodranis is such a lovely place - like, nothing bad ever happens there like ever. You’re probably right, y’know.”

Nott sighed and picked up a black backpack lying on the carpet. “It can’t hurt to check. Caleb’s waiting, you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” she said, “yeah.”

***

Nott sat on a vibrant pink and white moped with Jester seated just behind her. Caleb sat on the tarmac of the parking lot surrounded by a circle of shimmering chalk sigils. His dark burgundy turtleneck was rolled up at the sleeves showing the faint scars on his forearms. 

“Ready?” he said.

“Ready,” Nott replied, revving the engine. 

“ Eins, zwei, drei… Go!” he shouted, adding one last mark to the ritual and jumping out of the way. 

The circle glowed brightly as the moped sped into it and disappeared with a flash.

“Did you tell Yussa you were-”

***

The pair landed with a crash in Yussa’s tower and Nott slammed on the breaks to stop the two from crashing into the wall. 

“Shit, we should have told him we were coming,” Nott said as the door slammed open and Wensforth came running in. He sighed in relief and turned back towards the stairs.

“Sir, the detectives are here!” he called.

“Thank Pelor,” came the reply and soon after Yussa appeared in the doorway. His normally immaculate robes were slightly creased and his white hair was tousled. “Thank you for arriving so quickly,” he said, “it takes quite a lot to rattle me and this uh…” He shook his head and stepped forward, “I am glad you have arrived.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Nott said and stepped off the moped.

Jester leaned forward and whispered into Nott’s ear, “Did anyone tell him about the death threats?”

Nott shook her head slightly and moved forward.

“You haven’t heard?” Yussa said, eyes widening.

“Heard what?” Jester said.

“This morning,” Yussa replied, “a body was found on the beach.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
